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The other night, lying in bed, James was practicing all of the anatomy he has learned; pointing to each place and telling me what they were. Just because he knows now.

Ear, eyes, nose, mouth, neck, tummy, knee, foot, toes. That’s what he knows. Such a smart little boy.

In six days he will be 21 months old and that means only THREE MONTHS before he’s 2 years old. Besides learning G-rated body parts, he is also saying things like:

“Leave me alone.” (to his dad, not me)

“Mama, outtide. Wook!”

“Sky!”

“Bike” or “Bikey”

“Cat” and “Cats”

“Teeth” (he says this when he wants to brush his teeth which thankfully is often)

“Broosh” (brush)

“Toots” or “Toost” (toast)

“Mik” (milk; while he still does the sign for milk)

“Thank you”

“Yes” and “No”

“Chwis” or “Kiss” (Chris)

“Grwace” (Grace)

“Car”

“Go!”

So much change in the past month. I think I’m getting use to Mom not being here anymore. It’s not like it was ever a hard reality to grasp (if only); it was all too much, too real to avoid it actually. He doesn’t call for YaYa unless he sees a photo and then he just says “YaYa” and gives the photo a kiss. He does this on his own, no coaching. So, I guess at least for now, he still has some memory of her.

We spend most days alone together. It’s not like we can walk outside and be somewhere fun and since I have to conserve money like I’m rationing food during the Great Depression we don’t drive a lot. Still, we manage to simultaneously have fun and get on each others’ nerves, and despite it all he never tells me to leave him alone or go. He is like my little barnacle, attached to me all the time.

Like I said, this is both a pro and a con.

That’s the thing about being a parent I’ve learned. Every thing is both a blessing and an annoyance; you like your alone time but you miss them when they’re gone, you like that they love you but it’s easy to be smothered, they are learning words but they’re talking back to you. It’s all a double-edge sword; non-parents give looks like they think I’m horrible when I say “Sometimes he drives me bat shit crazy” as if I’ve just admitted something no sane or decent parent would ever think let alone say aloud. You will learn what every parent already knows soon enough young ones. You have been warned.

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